Flirting-Over the line
Situation:Couple # 1 Ari and Chanie, couple # 2 Yossi and Surie:
Yossi is Chanies brother, so they are all in-laws, which creates opportunity to learn about each others personalities, likes and dislikes etc. And it is quite common that a flirtaious relationship develops between one or more of them set aside sexual or not sexual.
In the above case Surie has developed a liking for Ari, yet she did not keep it a secret between all parties involved, (in other words she would always stick up for Ari, always be extra nice and super friendly even in public.)
It has happened before that she made advancements towards Ari (yes, in a sexual manner) and Ari declined or ignored. Yet this Yom Tov as they were staying at the same house, it happened again, and not to get in to specific details, she came on real strong and quite blunt.
(yes Ari shrugged her off again.)
Yes Ari discussed it with his wife, and the argument came up. Should Ari or Chanie tell Yossi about it or rather keep it as before and just know to keep distanced of Surie??
To all readers, Please do not in anyway post comments to mock any situations we all already know is wrong, please keep your comments strictly limited to the question, should Yossi know or not, and why?
(I think I chose the right Tee for her)
posted by Moochy @ 11:41 AM
31 Comments:
doesnt everyone know already as she flirted in public you say?
if he doesnt then the family should surely say but fremdeh people have no business in saying anything.
welcome mooch
in public, not on a personal lever, hope it is clear now.
its not clear for me at least
ye powder you are doing a good job i would say you are right confronting her with that comment is a real good one
maybe they will wanna have an orgy
Hi Powder,
Not that Surie dosent deserve it, but things will never get back in shape that way.
I would rather go for the idea of Ari with Chanie confronting Surie together, That should be a good "bitch slappin".
Yes, and thinking of it, I bet she wouldnt dare again try it!
YY # 1) some people are sick
# 2) not everyone is...
confronting yossi will only put him on the offensive, with both ari and chanie confronting surie she may also blow this into a whole mishpoche fight however i think chanie should confront surie and explain that ari feels flustered and it may or may not be that ari is right in his feelings but that surie should understand that he discuses his feeling with chanie all the time and that surie should understand that and not put the family and her husband in a perdicement
Hey you!!!!
Glad you'r back,
Yess the T-shirt is kool.
If you are Ari , I cant blame Surie...
Not that I'm usually such a Rov- knows-everything-person, but in this case it may be advisable to discretely ask a Sheilah.
Ashet Powder Shalom,
I think you all agree in a sense, that Chanie should be the one telling her about it, so she knows that Ari repeated it to her.
I agreee with that, cause this way she will re-consider.
Eshet I like your name, live up to it !!! lol
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I agree with Prag. This is a very serious matter. Two marriages can be severely destroyed, and all of Chani and Suri's precious kinderlach would have their lives completely turned upside , Hashem Yeraheim.
Moochy, after 120, you really dont want to say that you stould by and did nothing but bllog about it..
For one thing, is Surie desperate in general, or is Ari that hot?
If Surie is just desperate, perhaps it means, that Yossi is not providing enough, therefore if you tell Yossi about it, maybe it will give him the sign...
BTW isnt like al pi haluchah, like one of the worst things, being that is a sister in law, on top of her being married?
ER
Also is Ari frum or Surie un attractive? or he is just strong?
ER
Slik Chick I totally agree with you. However, being that I know ER personally. All I say is that BH, she isnt my sister-in-law, because nothing would stop me from sinning with her..
OK, Slik even though I have to say CALM DOWN, Cause I am sure it was just a guy trying to be cute, and he didnt mean what he said, but yes of course I would agree with you that these people need to remember one thing, As much as you heart desire, dont play with fire.
And one more thing, remember there are consequences.
Slik, Moochy sorry to give you the wrong impression. Its not as banal and tawdry as you make it. Its not just about looks and lust. Not saying ER isnt very attractive, but I was referring to an all consuming emotional Love that comes when someone has an overwhemingly intoxicating personality. Bh, I just know her as someone from the neighborhood and can keep a safe distance, but what if you have an SIL like that, and you just fall in love with her even if you don't want to, and you cant avoid her forever.
Something very much like this happened to me a few years back. The whole family was together for Pesach, which meant ten days of being right up close. My brother-in-law (husband's older brother)started with a few off color jokes, then some faked 'ooops, forgot my bathrobe' moments, then managed to get me alone and be really obvious about what he wanted. I told him I wasn't interested, and he accepted that. I did tell my husband but saw no reason to tell his wife. She's much older and more worldly than I am, plus she's known him a lot longer, so she probably already knows anyway.
Someone has to warn him to back off...That's all.
All this hand wringing should be saved for when something actually happens g-d forbid.
Right now the focus has to be to stop it from happening and for that he need a good scare...and stern warning.
D
David, thanx but really no one has said otherwise.
and anon, no one made it kool or hip or even OK, it was just that people peeped out of the closet and said , me too!!!
anon: who the F*** are you? you know me? where do you live? in LALA LAND?
Leah, did you pass cause you know its the wrong thing to do, or you were never attracted to him?
ER
Yes I know you ER,
And you know me too.
I believe you are a very attractive woman, yes I also know where you live, how do you keep so skinny?
BTW do you like it doggy style?
Mainly I passed because I refuse to be unfaithful, even when I have wanted to, though my brother-in-law was not much of a temptation. If I ever had an affair, my husband would never sleep with me again, and would probably divorce me, if that is what the Halacha demands. There's no way any sex, with anyone, would be worth trashing my marriage. Does that make me virtuous or merely pragmatic?
11/20/2005 9:57 PM
Pragmatism is in itself a virtue..
D
Leah: got your point, isnt David right though? lol
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