Mooochy is wondering- Do we know each others??
By all means, people should be nice to each others and respect them.
Greeting another human being is not only a custom and even Halacha, but an acknowledgement of living as a human being on the same planet, world, country, state, city, burb (or burg?) block or house (did I miss one?).
I have an interesting observation, and if you think about it , I am sure no one will dispute it, I was just wondering if there is a non- psychological explanation to it, so if someone who does not possess a DR. in front of their name, can please explain it in “plain English” (as I realized some of the readers don’t know Yiddish)
OK… (Come on say it already.. DUH!!)
You can live with one on the same block, and somehow your relationship did not develop any further then a hello, good morning , good night, or limited to a “how are you “ with no meaning behind it etc. yet when you meet them on a place away from your original location you somehow become friendlier. And if you need an instance, there are hundreds.
My question is why? Why, when you are from the same school and live on the same block you don’t feel for more then a hello but if you meet on the train from Manhattan you are comfortable enough to ask her what metziahs she has in her bag? And the funny thing is that tomorrow when you meet ,you might go back to square one and just say that simple hello like the past 5 years.
What is even more interesting is, the smaller the chances are you would meet at that place, the friendlier you get when you do meet them, if it’s a “voos husti ge’shopped in Manhattan, then you would offer lunch if you meet on a Chol Hamoed trip and if you meet at the airport its, all the way… where you heading too…how long are you staying .. why did you choose this place.. how much did you pay…are there a lot of Yidden there? (excuse me?? What are you? J) and so on.
Let alone if you meet at a trade show in Vegas, then it is even OK to invite the couple to your suite in the Bellagio ((just so they can see the huge palace you got for only 79.00). Or to meet up to see the “O” show together.. And if in China, you would even offer the guy, if he is short on cash, he can count on you.
Get the drift?
Lets see try to explain.
posted by Moochy @ 5:28 PM
38 Comments:
i guess one answer might be is because the farther away a person is from home the more they feel alone and isolated sooooooo
if a person that they happen to know bumps in to them they light up with friendlyness
YY, point, but even when you are only in the city and you have a cell phone?
Or if its true, how does that apply when you meet in the airport, you are not lonely yet. Or when you are on vacation WITH your spouse/family?
The way I see it, the random meeting a) would be very awkward if you just ignored each other, so you might as well be friendly, and 2) will make a good story, so you might as well play it up. The more absurd and remote the location, the more you want to connect- so that you can talk it up later!
On top of that, when we're close to home, we focus on how little we have in common. You have your chevra, I have mine. I have a well kept lawn, you let trash blow all around. But when we get farther away, we suddenly have a lot in common- compared to all the strangers out there. And most people have a tendency to be most comfortable when gathered around those most like themself.
It's all about convenience and selfishness. If you were alone in a jungle with your biggest enemy..somehow you'd get along just fine.
When you are away then another frum person is a welcome site, if you're really far..then another Jew is a welcome site..and if you're really remote than any human being will be a welcome site.
BTW when I'm on vacation..I don't feel the need to search out other frum people (unless I'm needed for a minyan..)
Hi Josh I think your # 1 makes the most sense.
Tuesday welcome aboard on a cold Friday.
David, your explanation still raises the question , how come when you are with your family, or when you are still in the airport leaving? perhaps on those occasions its the "yenta" thats in you, making you ask them , so you can tell Rivky, you know, you will never guess who I met, and you wouldnt dream to where she was heading to.. and for 3 weeks, and then you can gossip about, does she really need it , she only has 4 kids,? oh it was a wedding? umm.. are they OH KAY? I mean can she afford it? and who will be mechanech their kids .. and so on...
looks like all the comments go along the same line
I loved the previous topic much better, so let me try to combine it, what if you stay at the same hotel with your sister in law, and happen to see her with her robe every morning revealing some cleavage???
Of course moooch you are right.
The Vegas one is so true, i was there once with my husbad at a confrence, and its just in the air to hang out and make freinds,
Invite to the room thats another story :)
what you do in vegas stays in vegas:
ER
"what you do in vegas stays in vegas"..
I heard that with a twist..
what you do in vegas stays in vegas..unless she has herpes...
lol
D
Teah, like how come the same guys, who wouldnt even say Good Shabbos near my shul, will smile at the Mall, and sit at my table and have lubch in Rutgers or a similar type place.
Di trachst nisht mit a Yiddish kup!
If I say hello to every person on my block, like all the farickde people from out of town, then I'll be busy the whole day in yennem's business. So I say hello to nobody.
Out of towner's don't have that problem b/c 1) they don't have enough people to keep them busy and 2) they have nothing better to do.
But if I meet them somewhere else when noone else is around, I don't have to ignore them because there's only one of them so even if I'm busy with them I can still get my stuff done.
Y.Y. Noch a za nebach case in mein leben hob ich nisht gezen!
Yoeli
Slik: is that place near Deal NJ?
ER: so what exactly stayed in Vegas? lol
Sem: when it comes to guys saying hi to girls, there might be other reasons. We can all understand that the shul is not the right place to smirk or flirt:)
Yoilie and Powder: I think you are both on the same line, and this would be the second valid explenation.
DO we need more? ;)
Sorry corny: I had to delete your comment as I do not wish this blog to link to any porn.
Please comment without your blog link.
Or if they both go to a wrong place, and meet there and the mentality IS that two wrongs DO make one right, so they are happy to know they are not the only "wrong" one... Therefore, they are only too happy to talk to them...
--private
JBF Welcome back!
Sorry I wasnt too nice on the e-mails, I was just sketical of your identity.
To your question, I would stay shut of course, and yes it had happened before.
What about you?
mooch JBF willl never visit your blog again she only used you to advertise her blog
think!
JMHO!
mooch
the day JBF opens her blog she suddenly starts reading and posting all over????
lol
I've been in this situation and have developed friendships this way.
The truth is when person A lived next to me I wasn't interested, I had my family, friends and colleagues to keep me busy(so to speak), but when I saw him on the subway talking to him was more interesting than just standing there.
Basically it's a lack of interest until the interest grows.
I grew up in Lakewood and it is not like Boro Park where no one ever says hello to a stranger, but also not like Queens where my cousin lives and where everyone does.
My friend's older siblings remember when Lakewood was so small that everyone knew everyone else and greeted everyone (I heard even their spouses! gasp!). It sounds really nice.
We shouldn't have to wait to be far out so as to need each other's company to remember to be nice and say hi.
Shalom
BTW I have a new post
YY: Just for your information, JBF is gone again.
Joel: can you tell JBF to finish the e-mail for me please.
Prag: Fair point
Elisheva: BTW in Monsey some of the modern girls (who greet everyone gut Shabbos) will walk down 306 and say gut shabbos to a group of fruum bucherim or a guy in a shtreimel, I think its hillarious to watch those guys faces.
as if
JBF was shot this morning by a stranger who tried to kidnap her.
The police are all over the case I suggest you people who know her hide any evidence on your computer.
anon.
this was a good laugh
idiot
Cubanita:
Welcome!!!!
I just think that certain communities have never "arrived" in America. Culturally they're in another continent, in another century. The social norms are different and the etiquette is different.
I'm not suggesting that it's wrong but it explains alot of things.
D
Damn JBF how many screen names do you have? LOL!
Anon Are you saying Cubanita is JBF?? My gosh how obsessed can one be with someone they dont even know.
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This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I WRITE LMFAO
Y.Y. writes LMAO
there is a different
LMFAO
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Y.Y. and Cubanita are the same person
hint hint yy, jbf curses like a horndog I doubt she reads all this if she would she'd knock you out in a minute.
If you did not exist I think her blog would be around, I could have had a chance to become her lover.
yossi
Please behave yourselves as I do not wish to spend my time on deleting comments.
I think that the reason you aren't so friendly with people around you is because you're off rushing this way or that...no time to talk...leaving home coming home...routine daily life etc... but when you'r away from home and WAITING--key word (a bus, a train)...you have to fill the time...and as far as vacation..i think it's the comradery of being so far away yet having something familiar that makes us strike up conversations.
Open: great point, It was said before, but I cant blame you for not reading everyones comments. Yes it's tough ;)
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